The mothers whom I loved were always constants in my life. I was so very fortunate to love and be loved by both. Whenever I needed them, I knew they would be there for me. Alice de Burger and Annette Fex both had difficult lives but that in no way affected their love for their families.
Alice gave birth to seven children and Annette delivered nine. Large families to be sure, but those were the times in which they lived. Their parenting styles were quite different, but that was to be expected considering their vastly contrasting backgrounds.
Alice grew up in the Netherlands and gave birth to four of her babies there. She courageously immigrated to Canada with her husband and those four children (one daughter and three sons) under 10 at the time, in 1951. Three more daughters were born in Canada.
Annette was raised in Blezard Family, married and raised her nine children (five daughters and four sons) in Sudbury of a Franco-Ontario background. Annette’s 16 grandchildren and Alice’s 12 were extremely important to both mothers and all the children knew that and loved them in return.
Their grandparenting styles were very different, but every grandchild understood their love was unconditional.
In February of 1965, when my maternal grandmother died suddenly, I accompanied my mother to the Netherlands for that sad funeral, and this was possible only because Annette took care of my baby Jacquie while I was gone. There was no hesitation when we asked her to do so.
In November 1972, the week we were moving into our house on Moxam Drive in Lively, my two young children unexpectedly developed chicken pox. Oh no! I was teaching full-time, was responsible for completing report cards for 28 children and just could not imagine how I would get all of this done with sick children at home.
I called my mother Alice in Wallaceburg for help, and unhesitatingly she undertook that long trip from Southern Ontario by train and bus to lovingly render assistance to our family. These are only two examples of how these mothers helped us in our times of need, and it was hugely appreciated by my husband Alex and me.
Both mothers learned early in their lives to manage money extremely well, better than I ever did. Having lived through the terrible Depression of the 1930s, Alice in Holland and Annette in Canada, undoubtedly had a tremendous effect on both as their families of origin were large as well. Both women provided food on the table every day for their families and the occasional treat as well.
Both Annette and Alice were the best possible mothering models for their children and grandchildren. We learned about deep love for our families no matter the circumstances by absorbing their examples.
I feel very fortunate to have had two such remarkable mothers. The stress they placed on the importance of always having a stable home environment allowed their children to understand that they could succeed in life, always.
Erna de Burger-Fex was a columnist for Northern Life, Sudbury.com’s predecessor print publication, for many years.
