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Column: When I’m an old woman …

Wait a minute — when? I’m there now! Being over 70 is the verification of that. So, I’m old and I don’t care. Recently, I came across a bible for old women appropriately entitled “When I’m an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple,” edited by Sandra Martz.
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Sporting a few wrinkles affords an "old" person the liberty to do what she wants, never mind what anyone else says, says NorthernLife.ca columnist Erna deBurger-Fex.

Wait a minute — when? I’m there now! Being over 70 is the verification of that. 


So, I’m old and I don’t care.

Recently, I came across a bible for old women appropriately entitled “When I’m an Old Woman, I Shall Wear Purple,” edited by Sandra Martz. This book is just full of ideas on how to enjoy life as an old woman. What a treasure!

It gave me a few ideas about outrageous things I could do as an old woman, some I had never even considered.

Being old gives me the liberty to do what I want, never mind what anyone else says. It's wonderful to realize that.

There is no longer a need to be an example for anyone. If I decide to throw away my crusts of bread, there’s no one to scold me. Eating in front of the TV allows me the guilty pleasure of watching “The Young and the Restless.”

I was a tea drinker most of my life. But, several years ago, I started to enjoy coffee to the surprise — no, to the shock — of some loved ones. Why? If someone is bothered by my coffee drinking, I know what I’ll do: I’ll switch to drinking wine with my meals, even breakfast.

Why not? If the wine makes me sleepy, I’ll just lie down and surrender to sweet sleep.

I just thought of something else.

I can spend my pension cheque buying chocolates –I love chocolates! So what if I gain a little weight? There’s no need to pull in my stomach no matter who walks into the room. My body has made friends with my fat, so it’s difficult to lose those extra pounds. Time to stop dieting and enjoy all the delicious food.

I love to dance. Last week in the shopping mall, I heard really good music, so I danced and danced and danced some more, flinging my bags around my body, oblivious to the people staring.

Why don’t they dance? Dancing in the rain is so much fun that I do that, too.

I am an old woman, so please do not call me a young woman – that’s insulting to the life I've lived.

I understand that I am in the autumn of my life, so it's vital that I enjoy myself every day by doing whatever I want. I’ll just grab each adventurous day and make the most of it, because I don’t know about tomorrow.

Tomorrow isn't important anyway. I'm an old woman, remember?

Erna de Burger-Fex is a writer and retired teacher in Greater Sudbury.


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