BY KEITH LACEY
The emotional turmoil of a marriage gone bad was played out in a Sudbury courtroom Wednesday when a victim of domestic violence read a heartbreaking victim impact statement.
The wife of Gerald Gilroy, 24, read from a prepared statement of how being choked by her husband 10 months ago has destroyed their marriage, her faith in men and caused numerous problems for their children.
Gilroy was released after pleading guilty to assault and threatening death in relation to an incident last July when he choked his wife. Gilroy had spent almost two months in pre-trial custody. During one year of probation, Gilroy is not to communicate with his wife under any circumstances and he must access a partner assault response counseling program.
His wife, who is eight months pregnant with twins, made it clear she still wants Gilroy to have access to their children. Justice Guy Mahaffy ordered Gilroy be allowed to access meetings with his young children through a third party or under any further conditions imposed by a Family Court judge.
The victim told the court during a tear-filled 30-minute statement how she still loves her husband, but can no longer live with him because of his physical, emotional and financial abuse.
?I had to do what?s best for me and the children,? she said.
She had to quit her job five months ago because she had to drive by the church where she and Gilroy got married a year ago, she said.
She and her children had to move out of the home which her father had purchased for them because of this incident and she?s declared bankruptcy, she said.
?The memories for me and the kids are too much to endure on a daily basis,? she said.
Her father lost a lot of money, after she decided to leave the house, she said.
Her husband accumulated numerous parking tickets over the past several months, almost all for parking his car outside a downtown strip club, she said.
She never had any physical fear of her husband until the day he choked her and now she flinches every time her father, son or another male figure in her life attempts to hug or console her.
?I push them away...I fear the emotional impact this has had on my children...I wonder when will I again be able to feel like a mother should when they hug their children,? she said.
?I?ve lost all emotional contact with my loved ones.?
Her children have changed dramatically since this incident with one daughter becoming physically abusive towards others, including her brother, while her son retaliates out of anger and grabs and punches her when he seeks attention, she said.
?I was a strong, independent woman who never doubted anyone?s trust or intentions towards me...but now I doubt any emotional support shown to me.?
When she got married to Gilroy last May, it was the happiest day of her life and his vows of faith, love and support convinced her he had chosen a family life over one being with friends and partying,.
?I felt he was the only man I could ever love? and he had come to appreciate her unconditional love, she said. ?How could you make promises and vows and never be there for me.?
She now questions the trust and love always shown to her by her father, stepfather and brothers, she said.
?I wish to open my arms and feel love again and I want my old self back, but all that is left is an empty shell.?
She?s taken psychological counseling and is determined to make a full recovery, she said.
She still loves Gilroy with all her heart and wishes him the best of luck in his future and wants him to still be a big part of her children?s lives, but realizes her marriage is over, she said. ?I love you Gerry and I always will,? she said.
Gilroy?s lawyer Louis Sola said his client does not want to resume his marriage and will abide by any court order to stay away from his wife, but he
would like access as often as possible to see his children.
Mahaffy agreed there?s no evidence to contradict Gilroy being a good father and considering the victim wants him to have full access, he should be
allowed to see his kids as quickly as possible.
