Mercy and Me

Not every companion animal themed column is a happy one. Two days ago we had to euthanize our not-so-old (to us) Golden Retriever, Mercy.

Mercy is not the name we chose for her – we adopted her when she was eight years old. But Mercy is one of my favourite words - for it means “compassion or forgiveness.”

Don’t we all need a little (or a lot of) mercy in our lives!?

Mercy came into my life at a time when I was looking to borrow a Golden Retriever to do Pet Therapy or Animal-Assisted Visiting at Nursing Homes. We had two dogs already and they passed the testing, but they would not have been perfect house guests.

Pudge, our Border Collie, means well but is very ADHD. By the time she has entered a room, she is already “thinking” about what’s in the next room. And Trotsky, our Shih Tzu (who was also not named by me) thinks someone is always planning to kill him – that somewhere out there, there is an ice pick with his name on it. (For context, see http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005/jun/16/past.russia)

I asked a friend if I could borrow one of her Goldens from time to time for therapy visits and she mentioned she had one that might be up for adoption. Mercy was a very-loved breeding dog whose last litter was eleven puppies full and she nursed every one of them.

She was retired after that size of a litter, but you could tell by looking at her that Mercy had an oversized mother’s heart (and breasts not to be missed either.)

We knew we wanted her in our life before we even met her. And after, we could not imagine a life without her. We’d been sprinkled with stardust!

Mercy loved every person and every critter that came her way – be it at the nursing home or our home. My daughter Elaine and I remember with great fondness a time when some folks were visiting our house with their toddler.

Mercy adoringly brought the little girl all her chew toys and placed them beside her. The little girl was unimpressed, but Elaine and I had the “Aahh Response” for days after this.

I had always thought I would feel crumpled when it was time for Mercy to cross the Rainbow Bridge but to be honest, what I feel instead is this constant sense of trying to comprehend. I’m like the GPS in a car that has gone onto an uncharted road and it keeps saying, “Processing. Processing.”

How did this happen? Hmm. Mercy had been very stiff for a few weeks – arthritis happens, and I had choked it up to the humidity. But she started to refuse walks, and on Monday she couldn’t get up at all. We placed her on a soft blanket in our kitchen with a puppy pad under her hobbly haunches, in hopes that “this too shall pass.” It didn’t.

On Tuesday we booked an appointment with our vet and carried her in around 4 p.m. We stayed while the sedative worked its magic, and once Mercy was deeply asleep we kissed her and told her how much we loved her – one last time.

Is it possible that animals have souls? The ancients thought so. The Latin word for animal is “anima,” which means breath or life force. And I can well imagine Mercy on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge, leaping around like a freed spirit with all her friends and family that have gone on before her.

Enjoy Yasgur’s Farm, Mercy. You are stardust, you are Golden...

Jan Carrie Steven is a volunteer with Cat Adoption Trust Sudbury (CATS) and the co-ordinator of Small Things: Kitty Boutique and Cat Adoptions. For more information, go to www.smallthings.ca.