Sudbury Northern Life Columnist Eric Dowd
Toronto – Members of the legislature often feel the urge to write poems — this time of year brings out the best or worst in them — and one has come up with possibly the world’s first about an economic recession.
MPPs’ poems most commonly begin “‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the House,” and continue commenting on events in that forum and poking fun at opponents.
Progressive Conservative MPP and apple farmer Ted Chudleigh has written and recited three poems on the grimmer subject of the worst economic crisis most Ontarians have known.
Samples: “I rise today to speak in verse, of a new, imposed provincial curse. Excuse me if my words are terse, but the situation’s getting worse.
“In this, the former industrial core, where once we heard a mighty roar, echoing from the factory floor, silence looms. They work no more,
“Hundreds of thousands of jobs disappear, but the premier says ‘there’s nothing to fear, simply find a new career. You may have to move away, go back to school by night or day, and take a hefty cut in pay. But otherwise you’ll be O.K.’
“The economy has run amok, the worker is a sitting duck, but who’s to blame for such bad luck? The premier? No, he’ll pass the buck.”
In another poem he called “A Lament for Ontario,” Chudleigh declaimed “Farewell, sweet prosperity, our long-sought-after friend. For years you lived in our fine land, but now we can’t contend. Goodbye job security, the fruit of labor done. They say job retraining is the new prize that we’ve won.”
In his third, Chudleigh complained about the government of Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty’s creed. “The session is over and what have we done? We’ve banned everything under the sun. We don’t need to think, simply obey. We’ll run your lives for you, the Liberal way. We might crown McGuinty king one day.”
None of this will cause Shakespeare and Milton to stir enviously in their graves, but the authors never claim it will and it adds a little colour to a sometimes dreary winter’s session.
Julia Munro, another Conservative, contributed a poem that charitably had no unkind words and lines like “ 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the House, not a creature was stirring. The children were sleeping, all snug in their beds, while visions of Nintendo and Barbie flipped through their heads.”
McGuinty has said he once wrote a poem to his wife saying how much he loves and appreciates her and often reads poetry after a day crammed with politics.
The premier said reading poetry “kind of reconnects you with your emotions,” while politics is the best way to accomplish goals that cannot be achieved by an individual, but has not exhibited his poetic talents in the legislature.
The former tough-talking and belligerent Conservative premier Mike Harris may be considered unlikely to have poetry on his mind, but once described his political philosophy by pointing to Robert Frost’s poem about the merits of taking “the road less travelled,” which was apt.
A Conservative minister of community and social services under Harris, David Tsubouchi, raised eyebrows because of a strange poem he wrote about meeting a mime in a park. Tsubouchi said “I pointed my finger at him and shot him dead with a .44 hollow point. It was music to my ears to hear the death cry of the mime.’”
Some wondered what a minister responsible for usually unheard-from people on welfare meant when he talked of his joy in shooting a person who did not speak, but it is not always easy to figure out what poetry means.
Eric Dowd is a veteran member of the Queen’s Park press gallery.
