Helping families deal with the calamity of cancer

By Kelly Louiseize

It is hard to imagine how one's life changes when a child in the family is afflicted with cancer. A moment freezes in time when the doctor gives one the diagnosis and it is then one realizes that life will not be the same ever again.

When Jordan Primeau was 18 months old, his family spent two months in Toronto as he went through chemotherapy and radiation as treatment for leukemia.

"At times you want to cry but you don't because your baby is sitting on your lap," says Shannon, Jordon's mother.

Dread would enter her mind when she would wonder "how do I go on without my baby." But Shannon dug deep. If she was crying all the time, what kind of message would she be sending to Jordon, she asked herself. "It was exhausting."

Little wonder: she was seven months pregnant when Jordon was diagnosed and spent the rest of her term in The Hospital for Sick Children, not for her pregnancy, but with Jordon.

She remembers kissing him good morning and telling him she will be back soon, then walking across to Mount Sinai Hospital and giving birth to Zackery.

Shannon's mom cared for the infant in Sudbury while Jordon finished his treatments in Toronto. The Primeau family became fixtures at Sick Kids. The medical staff knew their first names, knew the courage they had in facing each day.

They became an extended family and Shannon's support system. "If I didn't have them I don't know how I'd have gotten through."
Jordon's treatment lasted two-and-a-half years. He was considered "in remission" in 2003, however, eight months later he relapsed. This time he was put on a higher dose of chemo and radiation for little over two years. They were paying $400 in gas each month just to go to Sick Kids.

It was about this time a gift basket from the Northern Ontario Families of Children with Cancer came in the mail.At the time, Shannon didn't know who it could have been from, but when she opened it she found grocery vouchers and food vouchers for the hospital, gas discounts and more.

She cried, knowing there were people out there going through what she was. Cried because she had gone to 12 funerals in 2006 and cried for another four who died in 2007.  "They become part of your family. Those kids are your kids too."
If there was one thing that she has learned in fighting this disease, it was to take each day as it comes. Like most people, Shannon's mind could get carried away with the doubt and the "what ifs." She would not allow her emotions to spin out of control. "This was the hardest thing to learn," she says.

She learned to take each day as it comes, and be thankful for the smallest progress and not get caught up with worry.
"I learned to live in the now, versus what could have been."

It takes more than $154,000 to raise a child to an 18 year old, according to the Vanier Institute of the Family. Many items were not factored in. Cancer was one of them. Help is what the Northern Ontario Families of Children with Cancer organization is all about.

Through charity fund raisers, donations and in-kind contributions, the organizations helps families who have a child dealing with cancer in any way they can.

An already sold-out gala will be held Oct. 18 at the Idylwylde Golf and Country Club to help such families in need.

Last year $75,000 was raised at a similar charity event (the Fantasy Ball) that helped with travel, food and lodging expenses for Northern Ontario Families of Children with Cancer.

This year's gala, an Evening in Paris, will once again transform the Idylwylde's gold course to a Rue de Paris with French spirits, French food, glorious conversation and a silent auction, all in the name of helping families like Shannon's. Sudbury-based companies from various sectors have jumped in to show support. Sponsors include Vale Inco, Xstrata Nickel, Scotiabank, realtor Jan Oystrick, CIBC,  Laamanen Construction, Pioneer Construction, Fisher Wavy, Atlas Copco, Mining Technologies International, Royal Bank, William Day Construction and Clarke Phillips Safety Supply.

Generous donations also came from Peter Zwarich, Rastall Nuts & Bolts, Lewis Cleaners and Bristol Machine.