Posted by Sudbury Northern Life 
Many have experienced being bullied or knowing someone who
has been bullied in school. For some parents reading this
article, they may be seeing this now with one of their children
or a friend. It is a serious issue in our youth.
Although I will not speak to these issues in children in this
article, it is necessary to do so to create a basis for
bullying in the workplace.
Do you realize that the behaviour in adults is no less
acceptable? As in the schools, bullying is also a serious
concern in our organizations. Bullies are also known as
controllers, abusers, harassers, manipulators, or coercers.
According to Wikipedia, a bully acts intentionally to harm
others, through verbal harassment or condemnation, physical
assault, or more subtle techniques such as coercion and
manipulation. Wow, that certainly paints a picture for all of
us.
If your skin crawls or your anxiety levels increases when a
person like this is around you, listen to yourself and do not
fall into their trap. They live to find fault in others, so not
to deal with their anger. Bullies often look like they have
their perfect world. They are often successful in their own
career or profession, or could be a boss, colleague, or fellow
employee. If a bully personality is placed in a management
position, methods of control often become worse as more
authority is given, whether actual or perceived.
The sad fact is that bullies are really hurting. They need
compassion. But that is very hard to express when you are on
the receiving end of a bully's behaviour. They never attack
another bully unless they are really threatened. They are, in
fact, afraid of other bullies.
Bullying is a learned behaviour that can change with
assistance. Psychologist Gerry Jampolsky suggests there are
only two emotions: love and fear. Fear takes control of many,
which is paralyzing to say the least. A bully lives in constant
fear and will attempt to control his or her world by
controlling others.
A bully feels he or she is always right. Trying to correct a
bully means more retaliation to maintain control. The thought
of someone being better or more successful or getting more
attention means "I am not good enough" and "I could be
replaced." What they fear becomes their reality. According to
the Canada Safety Council, bullies will attack weak employees,
but also very capable and dedicated co-workers. These people
tend to be co-operative and easy going, therefore an easy
target for the bully.
It is the capabilities of the attacked person that causes a
threat to the bully.
So what can you do? Well, if you think you are being bullied,
you need to contact someone in authority to the bully. You also
need to change your responses. You need to change your mindset.
You are not their punching bag. Say no, and do not argue or
defend your stance, as this gives more ammunition to the bully.
If you are not feeling safe, walk away. Setting boundaries is
important for your health and wellbeing. The bully tends to
leave those alone who stand up for themselves, setting firm
boundaries that you will not be harassed, yelled at,
manipulated, coerced, and so on.
Bullies can be in any organization: from healthcare,
non-profits, Christian or other faith-based organization, to
educational institutions and mom and pop businesses. Bullies
waste time and poison the work environment with anger and
frustration. This spills back into homes and communities. If
you are bullying others or are being bullied, seek counseling.
Your health will thank you.
Karen Hourtovenko RN(EC), is a health and wellness consultant from Sudbury who writes columns about healthy living for Northern Life.
