Posted by Greater Sudbury Northern Life 
We either have all been in a crisis or know someone who has.
What is a crisis? According to the Webster dictionary, a crisis
is defined as "an unstable or critical time or unsettled state
of affairs in which a decisive change is pending." 
In our real world, a crisis can be a broken marriage, loss of a
job, death of a loved one, loss of something important, loss of
financial security, or a loss of a friend. A loss, of anything,
can be seen as a crisis.
To the extent the crisis effects us determines our outlook on
life and the effects on our heath. The loss is real. It causes
pain, anguish and fear - indescribable at best for some. Many
emotions are apparent during a loss. It is important to be
aware of the typical emotions that one goes through in a
crisis.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified stages of grief in the
dying patient. Through time, it was apparent the same emotions
are expressed through other crisis. The stages include: shock,
denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing and acceptance.
I am sure we have all gone through some or all of these stages
at some point in a crisis. The problem arises when one is stuck
in a stage and their life is in a standstill. If stuck in the
denial stage, not accepting the situation, and therefore never
accepting the inevitable future. This can be seen when a person
is not accepting of the loss of a job and sits on a park bench
all day.
Getting stuck in the anger stage is seen when one takes anger
out on family and friends. Your comment might be "you do not
understand!" Maybe or maybe not. We all go through crises in
our lives and what others understand or not is not relevant to
our personal response to crisis.
By denying, we blame others. By blaming others we are
ultimately hurting ourselves. Sadly, if a crisis is present in
your life, that will not change. How you respond to it will
determine how long the crisis will negatively affect your
health and life.
Before we move on, physical problems during a crisis/stress
that may present themselves should be noted: headaches,
backaches, neck pain, stomach pain, depression, lack of energy,
anxiety, irritability, insomnia, sense of fear and unhappiness.
These symptoms can be debilitating, and it is important to
access medical assessment to determine if treatment is
necessary or not. 
So, back to the crisis. What can you do - or learn from crisis?
You may have been in a job that was just a paycheck but really
didn't offer your dream. If this is the case, see this as an
opportunity for change. You may have to make a move, go back to
school or try a new career. Doing this might be the best
opportunity of your life.
In the meantime, if you are staying at home with your children,
see it as an opportunity to create a relationship that will
positively change their lives and yours.
Do not take your frustration out on your loved ones. You may
have been in a relationship that was not happy, or a friendship
that offered nothing positive to you. See this as an
opportunity to grow and be a stronger person. In order to grow,
you must offer forgiveness from hurts. Forgiveness does not
mean condoning the hurtful behavior; it means you choose to be
happy instead of allowing another to determine how you feel.
Material things are just things - what we have today can be
gone tomorrow. Do not let "stuff" define you. It is not to say
we should not have things, just ensure you are not attached to
those items. It is only "stuff." 
If you feel you are not coping, there are many professional
counsellors, pastors and family physicians who are willing to
guide you through your crisis, so do not feel you need to
struggle alone.
Be kind to yourself - this is just a detour in your journey of
life. Look for opportunities and growth you may not have seen
without this crisis.
Karen Hourtovenko, RN(EC), is a health and wellness consultant from Sudbury who writes columns about healthy living for Northern Life.
