Fakin' Eh! How to Pretend to Be a Canadian
By Dan de Figueiredo
Illustrations by Roger Garcia
Blue Bike Books 224 pages
$14.95
BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER
The house down the road finally sold, and you're looking
forward to welcoming new neighbours to the area. You hear
they're from down south. Waaaay down south.
Like, from America "down south," and you want to help them
assimilate as quickly as possible.  Don't want them to
feel uncomfortable.
You might be right in getting them a copy of "Fakin' Eh! How to
Pretend to Be a Canadian" by Dan de Figueiredo.  If you
do, though, be sure to help them understand what it's like to
be a Canuck, eh?
Whether a person comes to Canada for a fast vacation or a long
stay, they naturally want to fit in.  Dan de Figueiredo, a
Hamilton native who now lives in Toronto, penned this book to
make learning easier for new Canadians and to tickle the
funnybone of folks who've called Canada "home" since birth.
Like that house down the road, a new Canadian always needs a
good foundation and The Basics are the best place to
start.  To fit in, the newcomer needs to recognize the
Canadian flag, know the nation's capital, and understand the
difference between American and Canadian football.
Ten provinces and three territories make up the whole of
Canada, and de Figueiredo describes them all, including the
people, the main industries, and how The Northwest Territories
keep getting sawed up to make more territories.  The
Northwest Territories, by the way, are no longer the
western-most territories and it's always Yukon, never the
Yukon.
Confusing?  Maybe not to you, but it will be to your new
friends.
Having basic knowledge of history will help the newcomer,
knowing Canadian culture will be beneficial, but being able to
speak the language is most important.
A reasonable facsimile of a Canadian will want to know how to
spell and talk properly. He'll want to understand that people
will look at him funny if he calls the last letter of the
alphabet "zee" and not "zed".  And she's definitely going
to need to know that renting a bachelor is completely legal in
all parts of her newly adopted country.
I am of two minds about this book. On one hand, author de
Figueiredo says this book is meant for Americans and anyone who
wants to quickly fit in while in Canada.  He does offer a
lot of trivia and fun things to know about Canadian culture,
geography, and language, and much of this book is enjoyable.
The problem comes with the other part of the book. 
"Fakin' Eh!" is rather hard to follow and the words "Not
really" and "Just kidding" show up over and over to the point
of distraction, which would make it hard for a non-Canadian to
appreciate.  I think, although American readers are the
target of this book, Canadians will like and understand its
humour much more.
If you're born-and-bred Canadian, you'll find this book to be
fakin' hilarious.
Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading since she was three years old and she never goes anywhere without a book.
