Incrementally, it happened. Years of accumulation. An almost imperceptible item-by item incremental build up.
Boxes, bags, overflowing closets, and at some point you might have even rented a storage unit. Stuff is everywhere. We just can’t seem to part with it. Let’s not talk about the basement or garage. Best to keep those doors closed.
How often have you said: “Well, it will probably come back into fashion!” Or this: “I’ll get ‘round to fixing that one day.” Worse still is: “You just never know when it will come in handy!” It is time to do some de-cluttering and streamline our lives.
I once had a student who lived very ecologically. He had but one pair of shoes. His colleagues were shocked. However, his response gave the class a fresh direction for discussion that day: “Have you heard of Imelda Marcos? How many pairs of feet do you have?” Perhaps the extreme end of the spectrum.
The environmental movement of these times call us to live with a “lighter footprint” on the planet. Today, we would call it a dialogue around sustainability, but in 1986 it was a little early to use that word. It seemed counter to the consumerism and wealth of the moment.
More recently along came Marie Kondo. She challenged us to part with anything that didn’t spark joy when we touched it. Her books sold millions of copies and now can be found in thrift shops if not in the back of brimming bookcases.
Now, there is a new cleaning exercise designed to essentially help you prepare for death. You can start doing it today. You can start doing it at 30 or 90. You can do it in a week or over years. Not exactly “new,” but some of us are just hearing of it.
Is it a trendy thing? No, it is a standard behaviour in Denmark and other Scandinavian countries. It even has its own word.
It’s not as morbid as it sounds. There is a definite practical side to “Döstädning” and you should you be doing it. It’s simple; you get rid of all the stuff you don’t need anymore with a consideration for those who follow. No one else has to do it for you after you die. Some have said the death of a relative is a hard thing to deal with, but clearing their house for sale is the more daunting task.
Margareta Magnusson’s "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Make Your Loved Ones’ Lives Easier and Your Own Life More Pleasant," asks “Who do you think will take care of all that when you are no longer here?” She reminds us that we are not immortal, and that you are doing a favor for those who remain.
In a 2018 article psychotherapist, Amy Morin says, “getting rid of items can serve as a reminder that things don’t last forever, including us.” Morin is cited in “Tame Your Closet Once and For All” states that “… when you get rid of the excess stuff surrounding you, you can better identify those things that are really important to you, and what brings you pleasure in your life.”
Okay, Döstädning may not be for everyone, but I can guarantee not one grandchild will want the cracked tea cups, nor the tarnished silverware. The collection of destination teaspoons? Never! Pictures, ornaments, objects and memorabilia may be best given away today. It will make you happy to see a friend or relative using your stand mixer, or enjoying a special platter.
Oh, those cookbooks? And what to do with those and all the handwritten recipes? Do you toss it all? Hand it down? The “special” dinner service and crystal? Organize a dinner and tell everyone to take their service home. Have bags and let them wash it all up somewhere else. Kick off your shoes and have a sherry.
Yes, Avril Lavigne, life can be complicated, but if you start now clutter, and stress, will diminish. “Life will become more pleasant and comfortable if we get rid of some of the abundance,” Magnusson writes. “Mess is an unnecessary source of irritation.”
Mashing up the concepts of Kondo and Magnusson you may even find joy in going through drawers and closets and finding memories. Just don’t put it all back. The object of the exercise is to purge, eliminate, remove, and wave bye-bye to mess, and yes, even reminiscences.
You can hire a professional, or you can do it yourself. Sure you might have to push yourself, and it does seem a bit overwhelming or monumental. Trying to do it all, everything all at once, is the road to failure. Start with something small like one room. Set a goal. Have a destination for what you want to liberate. Take a big breath and plunge in.
Not everyone stays in his or her own home right to the end. Many people know that changing health and mobility may force them to downsize or move out. If you start de-cluttering today you will be agile for what life throws at you; including death!
Hugh Kruzel is a writer in Greater Sudbury. Prime features stories about senior living and the issues impacting seniors in our community. It is made possible by our Community Leaders Program.
