The day dawned with bright sunshine causing the snow crystals to sparkle. The sky was a perfect shade of cobalt blue as it only can be in winter. It was the perfect day for my long-awaited wedding.
Although winter is not my favourite season, I was excited and extremely happy. It was Dec. 28, 1963, the day my fiancé, Alex, and I had chosen for our wedding day after more than four years of dating.
We were 22 years old and full of exhilarating dreams for our future together.
The scenario at my parents’ home as my two little sisters, me (the bride!), and, of course, my parents, was busy, but not chaotic.
We prepared to go to St. Christopher’s Catholic Church in Whitefish for the auspicious event. Alex’s brother, Leo, arrived at our home to drive my father and me to the pretty church not far away. My first question to Leo was, “Is Alex at the church?” He assured me that he was there.
Entering the church, after meeting my bridesmaids at the door, my father took my arm and we proceeded down the aisle to meet my handsome groom. My brother, Frank, was an altar boy, my brother, Ron, was best man, and my little sisters, Liesje and Lillian, were junior bridesmaid and flower girl respectively, thus my whole family was involved.
My close friend, Sharon Heaphy, and Alex’s sister, Denise, were my bridesmaids and Alex’s good friend, Ron Hewitt, were also members of the wedding party. The church was full with friends and family.
Alex awaited me in front of the altar. He smiled at me, squeezed my hand, and the Mass began. After some parts of the Mass had been completed, Father Joseph Hompes asked us to repeat our vows to each other and we meant every word … especially, “until death do us part”, and we still live by those words today.
During such a long marriage, it is inevitable that disagreements arose at times. However, we did not walk away from each other, but discussed matters and did our best to resolve problems to our mutual satisfaction.
Marriage is hard work, but by perseverance and with deep love we accomplished that. Supporting each other in our separate interests, whether that was Alex’s active venture into politics and sports or my intense involvement in libraries and educational courses, was important. Both of us volunteered in different aspects of our community. All of this gave us interesting topics of discussion. Communication is essential in our marriage.
The births of our three beautiful daughters, Jacquie, Michelle and Allison, drew us ever closer together. Proudly, we watched them grow and develop into lovely productive members of society, which gave us both immense pleasure. We delightedly enjoyed their beautiful weddings.
Before we knew it, a fantastic new phase of our lives began. Happily, we welcomed five grandchildren into our family. First, two charming granddaughters, Emily and Rachel, were born, then three interesting grandsons, Trent, Matthew and Nicholas, and later a wonderful great grandson, Aayden, as well. Each one is unique with varying talents which we enjoy watching them develop.
Travelling has been another way of becoming ever closer. It is just the two of us in the car for hours, listening to CBC radio, which we both appreciate. I read often and Alex enjoys music. Stopping to visit mutual points of interest has been stimulating. We drove to see our friends in Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories in 2005. After about four days there, we continued on to Canada’s gorgeous West Coast.
Flying to my homeland of the Netherlands is always exciting for me and Alex has relished the two occasions on which he has accompanied me. It is essential for me to reconnect with family and the city of my birth periodically. My extended family is always most welcoming and we never need to worry about accommodations in my hometown of Hulst. In 2007, we visited Paris, which fulfilled a life-long dream for Alex.
Now, we are in our early 80s and love spending a great deal of time together. At times, Alex is doing his sudoku , crossword or jigsaw puzzles while I am reading or writing. Alex still plays hockey three times a week.
We understand that we need each other more than we ever did. Both of us have experienced some physical problems, which are evidencing themselves not unexpectedly. We help each other as much as possible and so feel even closer than we ever did.
This is a quiet and enjoyable time of our lives. Celebrating our 60th wedding anniversary on Dec. 28 with our family is incredible and we are grateful to God to have reached this milestone.
Erna de Burger-Fex is a former columnist for Northern Life.
